AFTERNOON ALL!
Today I just thought I’d throw some of the common responses to us saying we’re doing donor egg IVF.
The decision to do this type of IVF wasn’t a small one but to us it was an extremely easy one. To others it’s a strange option, as they don’t understand why or what it involves so just say things which they don’t really get adds to our mental worries especially when you have had enough IVF and infertility issues. I’m sure all you fellow infertile lovelies have experienced this... throw some of your own annoying questions below.
I have constant concerns that it’s not my genetics or family traits or what if we don’t bond?!! I know these are stupid thoughts and baby will be in me and ours etc. but hearing people say this pulls the worries forward and grow.
I would love to have a pregnancy where people just jump and shout and celebrate without all these questions coming out of peoples mouths adding to the fear and anxiety I already have. I would rather feel the joy and excitement thanks!!
People usually say this first when you say you are infertile. They need to realise that adoption isn’t an easy way to get a child. It’s a lengthy, emotionally draining and hard process- just like doing IVF.
I’ve had friends who have waited years and gone through hell to get a family this way. And at the end of this process sadly these children came from hard situations and this has caused mental and health issues as well, so this is something else to consider. Nobody wants to be that person, saying no to adoption due to the difficulties, but you need to think of thyis all sensibly and strongly. At the end of the day your reasons are your reasons and nobody elses business.
Sadly I can relax as much as possible but to get pregnant naturally is a definate no. If we did get pregnant naturally its a high chance it would be eptopic and thats dangerous and would end in seruous surgery.
Constantly being told “relax and it’ll happen naturally” breaks me each time I hear the words come from peoples mouths. I smile and crack on but it reminds me I can’t have what I want that easily and it truly makes me feel like a failure everyday.
I know others going through infertility are screaming “please stop!” internally when they hear this too. It's a common reaction.
The other question that pops up on a regular basis is about us carrying on using my eggss. Don’t you think if I could I would?!! Also the thought we both instantly had was, people wont see baby as ours, will see/treat them differently or don't agree.
But when we spent near £8k on just getting one egg and both egg collections we got 5 and 3 (which then went to 2 and 1 when fertilised) its just not worth it. Which then reminds me, I can’t have my own child and also Infertile as fuck. (Bloody endo and blocked tubes!!).
At the end of the day, all questions with a slight negative undertone makes this process and jounrey feel more negative and controversal. All we want is love and support and peoples smiles.
So in the nicest possible way, with a smile and laughter, please stop!
We’re already worrying about every little thing we’re going to have to go through with IVF and don’t need extra thoughts and upset.
Just hug us.
Be over excited to get us positive and excited.
Dance about. A
nd just be supportive! Xx #ivf #endo #eggdonor #ivfround4